surgery – Jon Kenna .com

Fragile

When I was nine years old I spent one night in hospital. Other than that I’ve never been in hospital in my entire life. I’d rarely suffered with any kind of physical illness either. I was far more aware of how fragile mental health can be. I rarely gave my physical health a second thought. That changed when I broke my leg in an accident last month and had to have surgery. I wasn’t prepared for how vulnerable the whole hospital experience would make me feel.

No doubt, it was made worse by the fact that I wasn’t allowed any visitors due to COVID restrictions plus I was completely immobilised in bed (couldn’t even get to the toilet on my own). I was in my own room, which was a blessing, and I had access to a TV/books/phone etc, which just about kept me sane, but I can’t begin to tell you how helpless I felt. For the first time in years I was completely dependent on other people for absolutely everything; washing , eating, toileting, medication… even breathing. All I could see other than the four walls was the tiny patch of landscape outside the window. I had to press a button to call a nurse but they were all so busy it could be a while before anyone responded.

Each day I had to have an injection in my stomach to help prevent blood clots; I thought only people with Rabies had injections in their stomach. As a devout needle phobe this was not good. Another whopper of a needle went into my back on the day of the operation as anaesthetic was administered prior to my surgery. I had hoped to be completely unconscious for the procedure but actually I was awake throughout. I felt no pain but I did feel them inserting the metal rod into my bone and I felt (and heard) as they twisted screws onto bolts. The operation went well and I was soon in the post-op suite with oxygen tubes up my nose. Then it was back to the room and that same, unchanging view out of the window. It’s easy to see how people become institutionalised in places like that. Even a short period of time spent dependent on others for everything makes you feel incredibly fragile. I still feel that way now, six weeks later. I can’t even bear to watch those programmes which show clips of people falling over or crashing off bikes etc. I’m so hyperaware now of how easily broken I am.

The Art of Walking

On Sunday 10 January I had an accident and broke my leg. It was my own fault; I was messing about on a skateboard, as though I’m not way too old for that. I was only on the thing for about a second before doing a spectacular back flip and landing (really awkwardly) on the ground. I knew I’d done something serious because my left foot was pointing in a direction I’ve never seen it point in before. And there was the pain. I’ve never experienced anything like it. I couldn’t move an inch. An ambulance was called but, for whatever reason, it never arrived. I lay there on a concrete path with trees all around for two and a half hours by which time it had gone dark.

A father and son, John and Vincent were walking by and asked if they could do anything to help. It turned out that they had an unused wheelchair at home and they offered to go and fetch it so they could ferry me to their car and then on to hospital. I’ve never felt so thankful to anyone. It would have been so easy for them to keep walking and not get involved. I’m sure they had stuff in their lives that they needed to attend to rather than be bothered scooping up some writhing stranger who probably should know better than to go anywhere near a skateboard. But they were bothered. They came back with the wheelchair and did what must have been incredibly unpleasant for them, they picked me up and eased me in. Up to that point, I had thought pain could not get much worse than what I was experiencing. When they picked me up though, it got ten times worse in a second. I’ll never forget seeing the horror on their faces as they got a first proper look at my leg and the damage I’d done to it. I had to be wheeled along the path, over a bridge and through a gate before I got to the car. I couldn’t possibly sit in either front or back seats so they opened the hatchback and I had to be hauled into the boot. Clutching at my leg, we set off for A & E. It took about twenty minutes and I think I was going in and out or reality a bit as songs on the radio seemed weirdly distant and surreal. I must have said thank you about a trillion times to John and Vincent as they dropped me off and I was bundled into the hospital.

They came to see me at home a few weeks later following surgery on my leg and I thanked them another few thousand times then. Apparently, I had snapped my tibia (the thick bone in my leg) and my fibula (the thin bone in my leg) in one easy move. I had to have a metal rod inserted from top to bottom with screws at either end. A hobby of mine is sketching and I often draw people as they pass by on the street. Those of us who are able-bodied take movement so much for granted; strolling through the park, hurrying to work, scurrying round the shops… I took it for granted when I stepped on that skateboard. We should take John and Vincent as examples. If we are blessed with the ability to walk, don’t use it to walk away.